living in my Singleness

In my former posts i voiced out how my ex- fiancee kicked me out of his life.  Sounds sad but i am doing just find.

Soo i am single again. Sometimes it is quite challenging to get to singleness after being in a relationship, it felt to me like the world was coming to an end.

After few attempts of trying to convince my ex we were meant to be together, like i was the owner of his own existence. I deciced to give up. I woked up one morning and i asked myself ” What if being single was my reality”. The truth was , the was absolutely  nothing i could do about that situation. I just  cant go out there and  force some guy to be with me. Is there any guy out there who will like to have a girlfriend who cant stand herself???  I didnt want to be alone  by myself, why will i force another person to be by myself.

Another week after this revelation , i took down a piece of paper and i wrote down a list  of things i wanted to learn . I am some how shy by the thought of writting some of these things down. Ok i will just do it:

• Swimmin, Riding a bike with cars passing (freaks me out), going to a concert alone, visiting my city and enjoying the natural gifts of nature, doing an online course in childhood education, just to name a few. .

What about you? what are some of the things you have dreamt of doing? May be it time for you to write your lists…

Suddenly i found my mind shifting from tormenting myself to being single, to actually appreciating every day. I allow myself to just live my present.

How i wish we could just find great strategies to move on, even when it seems all grey and dark.  The reality is this ” we are still alive”. just for that reason we need to move on.

I got to go… My Bike is calling for me!

It is not that bad, after all

Since the begining of the year , i could say lots of things happened . First my Fiance kicked me out of his life (January) , it was very humiliating picking up my stuff from his place, still with the ring on my finger and still hearing him telling me he loves me. It was even more confusing reaching at his place seeing my picture  in his sleeping room.  While i was still figuring out how to tell my friends and families the mariage was no more, i was told my father passed away. .

We are in the mid of the year,  and i feel lucky!! it sounds crazy but i feel soo much peace. My dad is in a better place, i strongly believe that . We had a wonderful time over the fire side and he was advicing me . This is one of the most amazing dreams i ever had, i am a big time dreamer(beleieve me). About my ex, he is my mentor. Thanks to him , i realise i could love life nomatter the circumstance.